MIKE ROSE RANKS THE WACKPACKER PREDICTIONS…
Last week was ugly for me, because my super lock, can’t lose pick, the Philadelphia Eagles, well…lost. I also missed every wack packer prediction except Crazy Alice, who is crazy anyway….so it shows you how much I know. This week’s set of games are even harder, but we’ve lost a wack packer, Elegant Elliot Offen, who was so long with this ridiculous plugs, that Howard booted him off the air this week…that’s gangster talk for “He got kicked out of the football pool” riiiiiight? Anyway, Eric the Midget freeloader called in and made his pick, so I will evaluate that instead this week, maybe Howard will keep him around. Let’s jump right into the picks now….I will be ranking from best pick to worst.
1. Crazy Alice (-4.5) Denver Broncos over Cleveland (Denver has to win by 5) – This is a great pick by Alice, even though Cleveland is a hard place to play. Denver plays smashmouth football (mostly because their QB sucks, but that’s another story) and will give the tough but hard luck Cleveland Browns everything they bargained for. My prediction for this game is Denver 21 Cleveland 10. Who dis?
2. Eric the Midget (-9) Indianapolis over Washington (Indy has to win by 10) – This pick is alright, but I really feel like the number is high, because Washington is truly a “Sybil” like team, one week they can play like ice cream, the next they play like ass cream. I just think that even though this game is in Indy, they could get caught, because Indy’s run defense isn’t strong, Portis could go off and have a big day and the Skins passing game would open up. My prediction for the game: Indy 28 Wash 21, Goodbye for now!!!
3. Bigfoot Mark It Is (-3) Cincinnati over Carolina (Bengals have to win by 4) – This is a bad pick in my opinion, because Cincy is a team on the decline and Carolina is a team on the upsurge, the Steve Smith/Jake Delhomme combo is hot and there is nothing hot about the Bengals right now. My prediction it is? Carolina 28 Bengals 17.
4. 666 Fat F%ck (Artie Lange) (+4.5) Miami over Green Bay (Miami can win outright, or lose by up to 4 points) – This pick is just gosh dang awful, even thought the Fins are my team, I wouldn’t touch them with a 10 foot pole. They couldn’t score at a house of ill repute. My Prediction: The Favres 21 Fins 10. Fiiiiire!!!!
Now I am going to lay on you…my trusted readers my can’t miss, super mega pick of the week. I am going to take the Cards, laying 3 on the road against the high schoolesque Oakland Raiders. All my picks are absolutely unguaranteed to win you anything except the disdain of your local bookie. Tell em Mike Rose sent ya. Ciao.
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Mike Rose’s Top 10 NFL Reach-Around Jones (Week 7)
Hey, I didn’t know the fins starting QB had a music career?
Random Ramblings..
Bah, I’m a sucker….I watched the whole flipping game. I knew when the fins couldn’t get into the end zone at the end of the game that Mare would come out and blow it, I saw it from a mile away (kind of like the Bledsoe pick-6 from last week). You know the ridiculocity of this whole thing is that, because I am on this 2000 calorie a day diet thing, I can’t even drink to take the pain away….why does God have to be so cruel? Yeah, you heard it here first, no drunk, crying Mike Rose on NFL Sundays and boy does that suck…Hoo-ah. Seriously though, I think we are going to lose to the Green Bay Favres this weekend, it’s inevitable. We can’t run the ball and we can’t pass the ball, we don’t even have any defensive backs to pick off Green Bay’s Favre-tastic errant passes. It’s really the story of my life.
1. Da Bears –
I’m going to keep them here, because of that amazing comeback Monday night. I know the Cardinals aren’t that good, but hey, Leinart looked semi-sharp until Chicago started laying the wood to him in the 2nd half. Now Chicago has some injury issues, but they are on a bye this weekend, so if Indy has a strong week, they may get passed up. Not to change the subject, but what exactly is Tony Kornheiser trying to do in the MNF booth? Is he taking this whole “heel” announcer thing to another level? I thought there was going to be a donnybrook in there between Theismann and him…what’s up with that, but I digress….
2. Indianapolis Colts –
The Colts are still good and they have the schizophrenic Washington Redskins this week. Should be an interesting game, but the Colts shouldn’t take them lightly, because you know…every given Sunday. I personally feel that the Redskins have no shot of going anywhere until they get rid of Brunell…
3. Denver Broncos –
Denver had an easy game last week against the Raiders and only managed to beat them by 10, but you have to remember, they are working at a dis-advantage….They have Jake Plummer at the helm, so it’s not exactly offense-o-rama. Their defense is very good and Champ Bailey is having a whale of a year.
4. San Diego –
They walloped San Fran-sissy-co last weekend and are at the very vanilla ice cream Kansas City Chiefs this weekend, their schedule may even be more weak than the Patriots. Rivers hasn’t really been tested yet, except against the Ravens in week 4 and we all know how he fared then..oh well, another week, another cream puff. San Diego 28 - KC 14…You heard it here first.
(To check out Mike's Entire Top Ten each week, join us at
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1. Crazy Alice (-4.5) Denver Broncos over Cleveland (Denver has to win by 5) – This is a great pick by Alice, even though Cleveland is a hard place to play. Denver plays smashmouth football (mostly because their QB sucks, but that’s another story) and will give the tough but hard luck Cleveland Browns everything they bargained for. My prediction for this game is Denver 21 Cleveland 10. Who dis?
2. Eric the Midget (-9) Indianapolis over Washington (Indy has to win by 10) – This pick is alright, but I really feel like the number is high, because Washington is truly a “Sybil” like team, one week they can play like ice cream, the next they play like ass cream. I just think that even though this game is in Indy, they could get caught, because Indy’s run defense isn’t strong, Portis could go off and have a big day and the Skins passing game would open up. My prediction for the game: Indy 28 Wash 21, Goodbye for now!!!
3. Bigfoot Mark It Is (-3) Cincinnati over Carolina (Bengals have to win by 4) – This is a bad pick in my opinion, because Cincy is a team on the decline and Carolina is a team on the upsurge, the Steve Smith/Jake Delhomme combo is hot and there is nothing hot about the Bengals right now. My prediction it is? Carolina 28 Bengals 17.
4. 666 Fat F%ck (Artie Lange) (+4.5) Miami over Green Bay (Miami can win outright, or lose by up to 4 points) – This pick is just gosh dang awful, even thought the Fins are my team, I wouldn’t touch them with a 10 foot pole. They couldn’t score at a house of ill repute. My Prediction: The Favres 21 Fins 10. Fiiiiire!!!!
Now I am going to lay on you…my trusted readers my can’t miss, super mega pick of the week. I am going to take the Cards, laying 3 on the road against the high schoolesque Oakland Raiders. All my picks are absolutely unguaranteed to win you anything except the disdain of your local bookie. Tell em Mike Rose sent ya. Ciao.
-------
Mike Rose’s Top 10 NFL Reach-Around Jones (Week 7)
Hey, I didn’t know the fins starting QB had a music career?
Random Ramblings..
Bah, I’m a sucker….I watched the whole flipping game. I knew when the fins couldn’t get into the end zone at the end of the game that Mare would come out and blow it, I saw it from a mile away (kind of like the Bledsoe pick-6 from last week). You know the ridiculocity of this whole thing is that, because I am on this 2000 calorie a day diet thing, I can’t even drink to take the pain away….why does God have to be so cruel? Yeah, you heard it here first, no drunk, crying Mike Rose on NFL Sundays and boy does that suck…Hoo-ah. Seriously though, I think we are going to lose to the Green Bay Favres this weekend, it’s inevitable. We can’t run the ball and we can’t pass the ball, we don’t even have any defensive backs to pick off Green Bay’s Favre-tastic errant passes. It’s really the story of my life.
1. Da Bears –
I’m going to keep them here, because of that amazing comeback Monday night. I know the Cardinals aren’t that good, but hey, Leinart looked semi-sharp until Chicago started laying the wood to him in the 2nd half. Now Chicago has some injury issues, but they are on a bye this weekend, so if Indy has a strong week, they may get passed up. Not to change the subject, but what exactly is Tony Kornheiser trying to do in the MNF booth? Is he taking this whole “heel” announcer thing to another level? I thought there was going to be a donnybrook in there between Theismann and him…what’s up with that, but I digress….
2. Indianapolis Colts –
The Colts are still good and they have the schizophrenic Washington Redskins this week. Should be an interesting game, but the Colts shouldn’t take them lightly, because you know…every given Sunday. I personally feel that the Redskins have no shot of going anywhere until they get rid of Brunell…
3. Denver Broncos –
Denver had an easy game last week against the Raiders and only managed to beat them by 10, but you have to remember, they are working at a dis-advantage….They have Jake Plummer at the helm, so it’s not exactly offense-o-rama. Their defense is very good and Champ Bailey is having a whale of a year.
4. San Diego –
They walloped San Fran-sissy-co last weekend and are at the very vanilla ice cream Kansas City Chiefs this weekend, their schedule may even be more weak than the Patriots. Rivers hasn’t really been tested yet, except against the Ravens in week 4 and we all know how he fared then..oh well, another week, another cream puff. San Diego 28 - KC 14…You heard it here first.
(To check out Mike's Entire Top Ten each week, join us at
Shrine
posted by Doc at 8:25 AM
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